Oct 18, 2008
My first avi's rez date....
I loved Secondlife right from the start. Funny the draw this cartoon world has. I could remember some days rushing home from work so that I could log in. I was naive. I had two dances, a hand full of freebie outfits. and a half way decent copy-botted hair from analog dog. Boy those were the days. Everything was new was an adventure. My (RL) skin was thick, my feelings intact, my heart unbroken. Boy those days are GONE. Where did it all go. Sad in lots of ways. For now my toes are Primy, my clothes top notch and meshy. The Lindens are plentiful. The true friends gone. Logging on is like a chore. Seems my secondlife is infected with trolls, whores, ex's, fuglys, fair weather friends, users, takers, wannabe's & unsavorys. MY (RL) skin worn thin, my feelings hurt many times, my heart broken and glued. It seems even my old stand by doesn't make me happy theses days. I'm tired of fighting the same fights. The worthless drama.
My mind flashes to a simple time. I can see it like it was yesterday. My First Little SL house, on a sim made to look like Spain. I had no lindens for furniture( had yet to put rl $ in game) I refused to pole dance..." I ain't no dancer". Sometimes when none of my friends were around, I would lay on the roof of the little house and wonder how long I would be here. What would I do, what would become of me? I had no sl worries, no drama it was wonderful and yeah my hair was really bad flexi, my toes were shrek feet no prims yet. Clothing, skin, and other textures were well horrible. But my Soul was at peace, my heart was full of promise and hope.
Damn it secondlife I lost it, that feeling...the nights that I laughed so hard my sides hurt. The times I was up chatting till the sun came up and I could have cared less. All the times I prayed for the night to never end. When I loved secondlife, when it was fun and happy! If anyone is reading this do you know those times. Can one every really get them back. Can you ever play like a "noob" with fresh eyes. Yeah this is my cross road....I guess I have to walk alone....Looking for my happy secondlife
Shoot maybe I'll find a little house somewhere on a sim made to look like Spain...Signs....
before this post Fades to black.....
Falling from darkness
To a place I don't know
Everything's moving with no place to go
I feel so alone and scared
As I fall, I wonder, "Is anyone there?"
As the days and nights pass right by
I count the nights I just lay and cry
Falling from faith, falling from love
Please, is there anyone up above?
Never did I want to feel like this,
When the answer lies with the slit of the wrist
My mind is racing to find another solution
Before it's too late and I'm just an illusion.
No one knows how I really feel
I just want him to hold me and help me heal
As I fall, I feel the rain
I begin to think that may be this isn't the key to ease my pain
